Why do we still recall movie scenes and lyrics from our teenage years?

And what does neuroplasticity mean for our current behaviors.

Yesterday, I watched a movie that I’d seen once

before, about five years ago. Some dialogues and several one-liners there were so fantastic they blew my mind. The writing was brilliant, and I wondered why these quotes and scenes didn’t stick to my memory more deeply when I saw the film originally.

Because somehow, I am still able to quote from the 1980s and 1990s classics today—practically verbatim—yet I do not remember much from the newer productions.

And, one can argue that the artists I loved back in the day (Quentin Tarantino, Michael Mann, Richard Linklater) grew, too, and produced even better work in the following decades. Hence, my ability to recall their newer stuff is not exactly tied to the decline in quality.

Same thing with how we can recall all the lyrics from songs we listened to as teenagers.

Sometimes a song comes up – something you haven’t heard in decades and were only peripherally aware of when it first came out anyway - and yet, suddenly, you recall the words, pull them out of the depths of your brain, and voila, you’re rapping along. (I mean, I can’t even tell you why I still know lyrics to songs I wasn’t even into?)

The same is true for dozens of formative memories that are lodged deep in the subconscious –sometimes we don’t even know they are there or we aren’t incentivized to do a recall, so we don’t acknowledge that we indeed remember those important scenes and memories.

This phenomenon is super simple: our brains absorb information during childhood much more easily. Turns out that the first cut really is the deepest and the first impressions on our brains create the deepest grooves. (Yes, this is a reference to the 1967 Cat Stevens song, famously re-released by Rod Steward in 1977 and later, in 2003, by Sheryl Crow).

The point is that this has profound implications for our beliefs and behaviors later in life.

It’s not just a nostalgic sentiment; scientific research shows that our brains are wired to absorb information more effectively when we are younger. Neuroplasticity is the most dynamic at an early age. This means that the beliefs we form during childhood become deeply imprinted in our subconscious, and they continue to shape our behavior for years to come.

For instance, if a child grows up in an environment filled with fear and anxiety—perhaps due to familial conflicts or unsettling experiences—they may internalize the belief that the world is a dangerous place. This belief can persist into adulthood, influencing their interactions and choices. We don’t understand these connections but the behavior, particularly repeated behaviors following certain patterns, is always connected to a belief we hold in our subconscious. So that child who grew up in a household where the parents fought all the time, or there was an abusive sibling or they experienced a deeply frightening event, the child then internalizes the idea that the world is scary and dangerous.

Fast forward 30, 40 years, and this child is now a client who shows up in my office because they don’t stand up for themselves, they don’t have any boundaries in their life, they are basically a pushover. Why? Because deep down, without even realizing it, they still believe that the world is a scary place, so they must appease the abuser first, they must avoid conflict preemptively, and they must minimize their own needs in order to maintain peace.

Does it make sense? Well, for the scared child/grown-up client it does. Or rather, it actually doesn’t have to make sense, but the connection is there.

This cycle illustrates how deeply rooted beliefs dictate adult behavior, often unconsciously. Because this is not about remembering movie quotes or lyrics; it’s about understanding how those early impressions, etched so deeply in our subconscious, shape our perceptions and actions today.

Breaking the Cycle

Recognizing the connection between childhood beliefs and adult behavior is crucial for personal growth. One of the most rewarding aspects of my coaching practice is helping clients identify these patterns. By making this connection, individuals can begin to rewrite their narratives and change their behaviors.

Marisa Peer, who is the guru behind the Rapid Transformation Therapy movement says that we should ‘tell ourselves a better lie’.

I like that quote a lot because it captures both the need to replace the old, limiting beliefs, while also acknowledging that all our beliefs are made-up constructs. So, yes, they are constructs but we can also agree that some of these constructs are more helpful (“I like myself and deserve to be healthy”), and some are holding us back (“I am a loser, so it doesn’t matter if I stuff my face with cupcakes, nobody wants me anyway”).

What we tell ourselves, dictates our behavior. This, on its own, is logical and clear. The trouble is, we often don’t understand what we tell ourselves, because the behavior today is driven by beliefs we formed many decades ago. We rarely stop to question the connection.

The interplay between early experiences and adult behavior is complex but essential to understand. By recognizing the beliefs formed during our formative years, we can begin to change the narratives that guide our lives today.

As we sift through the archives of our minds, it’s clear that those catchy lyrics and unforgettable movie lines are more than just nostalgia; they’re echoes of our formative years, shaping our beliefs in ways we might not even realize. Just like a catchy chorus that sticks with you long after the song ends, the memories we’ve stored—both useful and trivial—can either inspire us or weigh us down. So, let’s curate our mental playlists and focus on the memories that empower us, while letting go of those outdated beliefs that no longer serve our story. After all, as the wise Yoda once said, “You must unlearn what you have learned.” It’s time to rewrite our scripts and ensure that the next act of our lives features a plot twist that drives us forward, not back.